I'm officially not a "young adult" anymore. Melinda told me so today. Also, my body has been trying to tell me this for about the last year or so. Not in the creaky, groaning, "I'm old" sort of way. Not that, not yet. I didn't say I'm officially old. That is still some ways off. But it is clear that I am not a young adult. One of the clearest signs of this is on the new things I must add to my personal hygiene regimen. Primarily I am speaking here of the removal of unwanted hair. This may be either the complete removal of all hair from places that it ought not be or the beating back of sections of hair that have overstepped their boundaries. Until recently this has consisted primarily of the removal of unsightly little dark hairs that have started cropping up on the outside edges of my ears. The removal of these is no big deal and really not all that painful. It is an annoying task, but one I can deal with. Next was the one or two mutant eyebrow hairs that started growing much longer than their legal length. Since there is no real way to trim these troublesome giants they must simply be plucked. This is slightly more painful than the ear hair, but still nothing to blog about.
Then came the nose hair excursions. It started several months ago. Or at least that is when I started noticing them. One or two nose hairs would just start hanging out or down far beyond the bounds of decency. As this kind of flagrant rebellion cannot be tolerated I quickly seized my tweezers and began to remove them root and all. That is when I discovered that the roots of nose hairs are not only attached to the flesh of the inside of your nose, but they are also anchored into a central nerve cluster located at the center of your brain. This means that the forced removal of one of these wayward dirt catchers will result in blinding pain, welling tears, a running nose and sometimes sneezing. Can I just give a big "WTF!?" at this point? I mean what is the big deal about the removal of one little nose hair that necessitates all these alarms sounding? Does the body really need that much protection for those little suckers? I really hate to question the designer of this things since I know that He is wise and powerful beyond even my wildest imaginations. But still, I have to ask, is that wiring really necessary?
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3 comments:
I am in complete agreement. There are definite design flaws in the male "machine". Not only the wiring defects you mention, but lets consider the OBVIOUS lack of hydraulic fluid. When the "machine" reaches an excited state, for whatever reason, there is a massive flow of hydraulic fluid to certain modules specifically designed to handle this sudden influx and deal with it accordingly. This massive redirect of fluid however, leaves the "machine" lacking the fluid necessary for the CPU to function properly. There is no longer the ability for logic and/or reason. This explains the behaviour that the female portion of our population perceives as stupidity.
But in reality it's a design flaw!
LOL - This had me in a constant giggle as I read it. :) Even though you're not a "young man," I like the man you have become. I love you just the way you are, raging nose hairs, rampant ear hairs, mutant eyebrow hairs and all!
You have had rampant eyebrows for years. This is not a new development.
As a neatly trimmed and dapper dandy myself, I suggest you buy a nose hair trimmer. I too have pulled nose hairs from my nostrils, and the ensuing torment is just not worth it.
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